A Smile is Just a Smile. Or is it?

I was on a morning walk recently, and not feeling too great. Tired, back hurting. Just a little blah.

But then, without really thinking about it, I started to smile or say good morning to everyone I met on my walk. My husband does it all the time, but I’m a bit shyer, so it took some courage. It was interesting. Some people didn’t see me at all, some looked surprised and even wary. But more than a few smiled back. I loved watching this happen. It was a transformation before my eyes. Their faces became radiant, full of light. Even the old man plodding along with two canes looked up and returned a smile and firm nod.

Sometimes we don’t think about the small things we can do in a day. Like giving someone a smile. It may be the only smile that person receives that day. It may lift a heavy heart. It may even change the course of a day. It’s a wee gift, but it reminds them that someone sees them, that they matter.

I love Mother Teresa’s quote: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

So maybe a smile isn’t just a smile. Maybe it’s a little piece of love that connects us all.

Namaste _/l\_

A Little Help from my Friends

"What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me...?"

For many years, I was an elementary school teacher and when I retired, the idea of teaching yoga appealed to me for lots of reasons. I'm so thankful I took this path, as it's been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.

However, it's also been a humbling journey. Over the course of the first year I spent hours and hours of preparation for a one hour class, wondering if anyone would even come. The anticipation was intense, and I felt like I did years ago fresh out of teacher's college- excited but full of nerves! I also set my own bar high, so the learning curve was often full of angst for me. I was impatient with my awkwardness and lack of confidence. Many times after a class I wondered if I should throw in the towel, and try something else. Yes, humbling for sure.

Yet underneath it all, what kept me going was a deep love of yoga, as well as the unending encouragement of my family and beloved teacher.

And two very special students.

Every Wednesday the door would open and Bill and Sandy would bring their smiling faces and good hearts into the studio as they cheerfully threw down their mats. I would teach my carefully constructed lesson to the best of my ability,  and always hoped they would come back. And back they did come. Time and time again.

Their loyalty and dedication to that Wednesday night class meant everything to me. They gave me the opportunity to hone my skills as a teacher, an essential and necessary part of growing and staying on that learning curve until it began to feel more natural. Their steadfast presence slowly convinced me I did have the potential to be a good teacher, and to just keep learning and growing. Gradually I realized that I wasn't teaching from my head anymore. I was teaching from my heart.

Over time, more students came and stayed, and we now have a precious little kula, practising our love of yoga and enjoying great camaraderie together. It is the most wonderful feeling to be a part of this community, to grow along with my students and to witness their journey alongside mine.

We can't always believe in ourselves right away but when others hold the space for us until we are ready, it is a gift like no other.

Thanks Bill and Sandy for holding that space for me. I am forever grateful.

"We get by with a help from our friends."

Yes we do. We sure do.

Namaste. _/l\_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf7MrwldawY

A Letter to my Kula

Dear Students

When I got back from vacation, I wasn't surprised to hear that the teacher filling in for me had thoroughly enjoyed teaching you all. She commented on what a committed group of yogis you were, and also how supportive and kind you are to one another. She called you a 'kula', which is a Sanskrit word for community, often referred to in the yoga circles.

I wholeheartedly agree. You are a special group that embodies those traits, and I've always felt grateful for having the opportunity to share this practise with you.

When we come to a yoga class, often we speak of the internal process, the inquiry into one's own experience. But when interaction also extends outwardly to one another, then it blossoms into something even bigger. You are an example of that 'blossoming' where a positive atmosphere of good will elevates the heart and spirit all around.

So thank you for offering yourselves to others with friendliness and good humour, and being such an example of what kula is all about.

Namaste _/l\_

Ode to 60

I’m turning 60 in a few days. I laughed at my husband a couple years ago when he was ruminating about his 60th birthday. He looked over his glasses and said - 'just wait'. How right he was. No doubt about it,  I've had my share of angst over mine too. But lately there's something else that's shown up too, something quite unexpected.

Today I was in the gym and happened to go into the activity room where they hold classes. It was empty but I could pick a video of a class and 'do it yourself'. "Great!" I thought. "Love the idea- a whole studio to myself"! I walked up to the machine, picked a dance class, (one I used to be quite good at, I might add :)).  A big screen rolled down and it began. The intro music filled the room, I felt excited, ready to rock! And then...

Oh-My-God. Where did that woman go who could dance with the best of them? Along with Elvis, 'she had left the building'. And who was this imposter, flailing around, completely out of sync with the music and movement- tripping over her two left feet?!  I tried to convince myself no one was looking through the windows into that room and laughing, but let me tell you, I was well OUT of my comfort zone.  After a good try I turned the damn thing off, grabbed my stuff and whatever dignity that remained, and headed for home.

Now, before you start feeling sorry for me, here’s the flip side. I SHOWED UP.  I might even be back, and who knows, maybe even get a little better with practice.  No, I’m not the dancer I once was, nor the runner, nor the writer, or philosopher. My ass has gone south and it ain’t coming back. I have all kinds of weird health stuff going on, and I do the stupidest things, way more than I’d like to admit.

But what I’m determined to do, is keep SHOWING UP. I don’t know what that’s going to look like in the future, but for now- I’m going to shake my booty to that dance video, and dream about all the different things I love to do- or have yet to do. This is such precious time and more than ever,  I want to embrace it. 

Yes, being 60 has many rewarding qualities that I wouldn’t trade for that firm little butt, or smug confidence. But it also reminds me that I will never be younger than I am today, so I better take this able body into the next decade with gratitude and joie de vivre.

 Now- where did I put those sky diving lessons? I need to find my glasses first.

Namaste _/l\_

We All Need Each Other

A few weeks ago I was running in a nearby park. This park has a path that stretches for miles, but a small section is interrupted by a neighbourhood. It was here that I happened to be, on a lovely warm fall evening.

Still on the path, I ran up a short but steep hill that precedes this neighbourhood. At the top, I noticed an elderly woman walking by herself. She had stopped some university students, asking them where a certain street was. The students tried to explain that it was some distance from where she was, and they were as helpful as they could be in directing her to her destination.

In an instant, I realized this woman needed more help than just directions. I approached her (as well as another young woman who had a cell phone). After asking her some basic questions including the phone number to call home, it confirmed my suspicion. This dear woman had some form of serious memory loss.

Eventually I was able to contact a daughter who was going to pick her up, as well as locate her father who I suspected had similar memory issues. I assured the daughter I would stay with her mother until she arrived.

During those minutes that we stood together, it was a very humbling experience. She felt humiliated that this had happened, and fearful that she would lose her freedom. She was so grateful I was there, and even put her arms around to hug and thank me. I reassured her that none of this was her fault and that we was doing the best she could. We both cried a little.

Then her daughter came, and whisked her off..

As I resumed my run, I wept. So many emotions went through me in a matter of moments. I feel them now, weeks later as I write this post.

It brought feelings up of my own mother, who is also living with dementia. The vulnerability, the frustration and the fear that comes with the realization that the memory is slipping away. The poignant fragility of life when something as precious as our minds begins to leave us forever.

It made me think of the daughter, and how I could so relate to the alarm in her voice on the phone, in both the tears of relief and frustration as she hugged her mother upon arrival. I've been there many times and in many different ways. There is no road map here as one cares for a parent at this stage of life. It is such a bitter sweet experience.

It reminded me of how much we need each other in this lifetime.  It calls me to be there for others, even if I don't always know the answer or do the right thing. 


I just have to try. 

Namaste. _/l\_

The Sweet Spot

While thinking about my title for this post, the words 'sweet spot' came to mind. Defined as "an area or range that is most effective or beneficial", the image of Goldilocks popped into my head, sampling all three porridges and settling on the one that was just- right.  I was quite amused when I came across the same analogy in a blogpost titled "How to Discover Your Sweet Spot" (Psychology Today).

In the article (referenced at the bottom of this page) Dr Seltzer also states "it's about doing, or not doing, that which in any particular situation is optimal for you. And knowing what's personally "just right" isn't a trait you're born with. Nor is it a matter of intuition.  Such knowledge can only be gained through experience, and carefully analyzing the meaning of your experience".

In this busy life of ours, I think we're often trying to find that 'sweet spot', that place of balance that helps us feel at ease with ourselves and life around us. But it's often elusive because life is always shifting, moving, changing. Life is dynamic, and so are we. Sometimes, we need to ease back on the throttle of life in some way or other, other times we need to ramp it up. And often we don't know we're in balance until we're out of balance. But even though we can't really nail it down,  I think it's a worthwhile exercise to ponder and question our thoughts, and actions. And to just observe what contributes to that feeling of being balanced- or not.  Awareness really is the key in helping to understand this.

Yoga is a perpetual inquiry about ourselves in this way. When we come to the mat, we bring a curiosity and sensitivity to our bodies and our minds. We become increasingly insightful as we continually 'tune in' through the asanas and breath. We test ourselves, finding our 'edge'- noticing what happens when we effort too much, or not enough. And in that practice, I think we also become more skilled at bringing that awareness into our lives on a daily basis, that ultimately helps us to find balance in many ways.

So- finding your 'just right porridge' may take a little time and practice but like Dr Seltzer says "for what ultimately, could be more satisfying- or "sweeter" than perfecting your knowledge of your very own, custom-tailored sweet spot"?

And I say- yoga might just help along the way...

Namaste. _/l\_

*** https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201202/how-discover-your-sweet-spot

My Husband, the Yogi

"If your mind is empty, it is ready for anything, In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind, there are few". 

Shunryu Suzuki

For as long as I can remember my husband has always been a big supporter of my various endeavours (bless his heart). And yoga has been no exception. He's encouraged me all along to deepen my practice, both as a student and a teacher.


To show his support, he has even come to some of my yoga classes, which has not been easy for the 'tin man'.

An avid, accomplished long distance runner, his legs boast great muscular strength, but like many runners will admit-  flexibility is not his forte. So time on the mat, although valuable- is not his favourite way to spend an hour.

So, it was a big surprise to me when he announced he was taking the 30 day yoga challenge- to spend 10 minutes on the mat each and every day. Yup- everyday. We are more than halfway into the challenge, and I must say I am very impressed with his commitment. Each evening, no matter how busy or tired he is, I watch him head downstairs to his mat.

This week he shared how he's been using that time. I had given some suggestions earlier in the month, but in his own unique way, he's made this time his own. Very simply, he takes one pose, and spends 'quality time with it'.

What an awesome idea. To bring a beginner's mind to any pose- even one that has practised for years, is such an important teaching in yoga. Imagine coming to the mat with fresh eyes and fresh attitude each time. There is so much that can be gained. One could focus on tweaking alignment, carefully placing the body into as well as out of the pose, perhaps experimenting with finding one's edge in the pose. Or bringing the attention to just the breath, inviting it into the pose, from beginning to end. Another intention could be to take the awareness inside the body and to notice all the feeling sensations that come up in a pose.

There are a multitude of ways to spend this 10 minutes on the mat. Even if you aren't doing the 30 day yoga challenge, it's still a great idea to take one pose and explore it with an open, curious mind. 

You just might be surprised what you find out.

Thank you dear husband for being my inspiration.  You really are a yogi at heart.

Namaste. _/l\_